Only Vegas, the life story. Thursday Feb 18 2010.
This evening I exposed my last color 4×5 sheet film I have. From last September I had more than 200 sheet in my freezer, and it is now gone. I have not imagined to myself that I have been shotting a lot till I had a thought back of when was the last time I bought films. It is time to buy new ones. I noticed something very imortant today afternoon while I was searching online. It has been tougher to BUY film now than 8 months ago. A lot of then were out of stock! Also some of them are boxed only 10 sheets instead of 50 sheets as they used to be. This gives me a shock moment, and it made me have a thought of my near future works. The thought is about how long really the film has left.
I had not been worried about this issue till this year. It is because of seeing the change at the suppliers. The world is now moving away from the film day to something new with a speed of light. As I am a film shooter, of course I am sad. I wish that there are still people who carry it on a bit longer.
I have continuted to work on my ” Only Vegas ” project. Eventhogh sometime I was busy with something else, I still give myself at least a day to roam my town looking for images I have dream of. It is interesting to see how I feel connecting to locations. I keep finding new spots and it stays exciting for 2 or 3 days at one place then it dies out. Then I felt empty till I found a new place. I also trying to find a balance while I am working. It is the balance between art of photography and a content of the project. I believe that not every images I have made are all fit together. However, I allow myself to explore the possibilities of what I have been given by the way I see, feel and believe when I make photographs. It is hard to do something only you see in your head and believe in your heart. It makes you go very slow. I came to realize that I only can do one thing at a time in order to get the most out of it. So now I spend 2 or 3 days working on something then I leave it a little bit, 3 or 4 days, before I look for something else. This way I have a chance to be aware of what I have done, and how it relate to my content.
This is only the beginning of it when you are making a product. Hopefuly, I can continute and I will be able to complete my project with the same tool. This is the only my concern for now. I used to pay for a 50 sheets box of 4×5 film about $82 for a pro- film. It is now $125 and it’s hard to come by. Now it is cost about $180 to shot 10 sheets of an 8×10. For people like myself who work about 2-3 days/ week, I would need at least 30 sheets/ month for 8×10 ( this allows me 3 shots/ day ) and about 50 sheets/ month for 4×5. Now that I am limited by the income, only 4×5 is already hard on me, but I still manage to get by. It is because the knowing that soon near future there may not be film any longer. The ” only vegas ” will soon become something special. It has already been special to me because I am spending my life along with it everyday now.
Thursday morning, I went back to a spot I photographed the evening before for the different light. It was about 6am and the light was just as beautiful as it can be. I made 4 images and it was done. While I was packing up and watching the beautiful light, my mind had gone to many great places where I had seen a similar warm morning light before. I imagined to myself as if I was there. Suddenly, there was a native american man was walking toward me. The warm bright yellow light was on his face. He asked me ” what date is this? ” I replied ” A thursday “. I could smell that he had been drinking through the night. A little bit later he asked me again ” what day is it “ I said ” the 18 ” then I smiled. He said ” the 18 ” and he was smiling. He was about to walk away from me ” thanks ” was low as he was passing me by. He was walking into a bright warm yellow light to the way home….
At the moment, a felt that ourlives is a paradox beauty. What was he doing here in Vegas? What I am doing here in Vegas?
These images are from the evening of the Feb 18 2010.
Thank you for reading everyone. It’s a Friday. Have a great weekend.
Komkrit.